POSITIVE PARENTING GOALS TO HELP ME BE A BETTER WAHM!
A couple of weeks ago I gave you a first insight in to “Triple P’s – Positive Parenting Program .” So tonight I wanted to touch on how this program has been helping me with some parenting goals of mine as a “Work at home Mum" (WAHM).
Out there it seems like there are only two types of Mum’s – the “stay at home mum” (SAHM) or the “working mum” but there is definitely a third group of Mamas. We are the “work at home mums” – we have made the choice to stay at home with our kids and get our hustle on from the “comfort” of our own homes and still have a career, make an income or even build our own businesses. In theory this sounds easy. You will just pop your little one down and they will entertain themselves while you sit at your desk and work right? WRONG!
Babies and children are demanding and finding the balance of working and looking after them is HARD work in itself. Over the past 6 months I have been trying to work out what works best for me so I can achieve both.
If I’m lucky, I’ll get a day to myself when Millie is with her grandparents. I have a week’s worth of work in one day and it’s tough. I was constantly finding myself stressed and anxious over not being able to complete my work and give Millie the attention she deserved. I often found myself getting cranky at her because she was distracting me, not napping and or having days where she simply just wouldn’t play independently or be distracted by TV shows or games. I was also finding that I was putting my own goals on the back burner because I felt as though work was more important. When David is at home, I would work and not go out to the gym to exercise.
So where does “Triple P” come in to this? Well if I’m completely honest, before I started the course I actually didn’t think I needed it or that I could take anything from it because Millie is so young. BUT I started to realise how much this could help me with my “WAHM” life. It has helped me to set some goals, work on my parenting and myself so that there is more of a balance between “work” and “parenting”.
I am finally starting to feel like I have some kind of balance and schedule that works well for both of us so that we are both getting what we deserve and that I am still able to complete my work whilst being a great Mum. Don’t get me wrong, every day is not perfect and there are still things and days out of my control where nothing gets accomplished but now I at least feel like I am getting there.
So here 3 things I have been working on to help me be a more “positive parent” while working from home:
BEING MORE ATTENTIVE AND SPEND QUALITY TIME:
Before I started this program I was just winging it besides those days where Millie was at her grandparents. I would pretty much just try to work around her nap time or play times. This was bad for me because I was trying to work while she played half the time and I wasn’t interacting with her as much as I should be. When she wanted my attention I would either get cranky or feel stressed because I wasn’t able to complete my work.
So now instead of trying to cram everything in, I set my self the goal of having “quality” time with Millie while she is awake – that means NO work. Now instead, I wake up very early (around 4.30/5am) and spend a couple of hours working while she is still asleep and then the only other time I allow for work is when she is napping. This has allowed me to free myself completely for her so that when she is awake we are spending quality time together and she is happier too!
I have been trying lots of fun new activities with Millie that will not only help her learn and develop, but are great fun and a way for us to spend time together. Some little activities I’ve been trying are: building sandcastles on the beach - getting containers, buckets and cups of water and letting her scoop out the water from one bucket to another. I’ll let her play in the garden with all the different objects (dirty but fun), teaching her to stack blocks or any objects, teaching her how to stick stickers, playing parachute with a bed sheet and throwing and catching balls (she cannot catch - just more the understanding that I am passing it to her). These are just some of the simple things I've been trying to do, to get her away from her toys which she is usually not that interested in anyway.
The bonus of these activities is that she becomes extremely tired and has better, longer naps meaning I can get a solid work period in the day too!
GIVING MORE ENCOURAGEMENT:
I think that it’s easy to get caught up in ensuring our babies, toddlers or kids know the meaning of NO. Often we pick up on what they do wrong and we forget to give them praise and encouragement when they do something right. I have been focusing on taking more notice of the little things Millie has been doing. When I see her doing something new or right, I always tell her how good she is being and praise her with claps or cuddles.
These are some of the things I have been personally working on and so far so good. I am still only half way through the “online” course but I am so excited to set some more goals and become the best Mama I can be. There’s a lot of the things I am finding out along the way and things I probably already knew, but just needed reminding of.
Triple P Online is currently free for parents, carers and grandparents in Queensland, Australia, because it's being offered as part of a family support initiative funded by the Queensland Government. It's also free in some other places around the world (such as a few areas in South Australia, in North Carolina, USA, and Alberta, Canada).
If you are outside those free areas you can still purchase the program for more info or to sign up click here .
Once again THANKYOU to The QLD government and Triple P for helping me to become the best parent I can be!