HOW MOTHERHOOD CHANGED ME...
Motherhood has changed me as a person from within – it’s given me strength, confidence & a sense self love that I personally never thought would be possible for myself.
Before I became a mum I was never the girl who dreamt about being a mother – I dreamt of travelling the world and having a successful career. I dreamt of being happy with my body and having confidence in the person I am but that is something I NEVER thought I would achieve and I definitely didn’t think it would happen by having a baby.
Before I had my daughter I was always afraid of what pregnancy would do to my body – I was afraid of stretch marks, weight gain, no longer being fit and not having the time to stay active so you can imagine how much this stressed me when I found out I was pregnant.
Before I became a mother I was so unhappy with my body and my appearance. I spent my whole life worrying about what others thought of me – not what they thought of me as a person but what they thought of my appearance.
Even when I was pregnant I really struggled with my body – I was small from being so unwell and so was my bump but I did everything I could to hide it because I hated people looking at it. I hated people focusing on my appearance and my size even when they were telling me how small I was because in the back of my mind I always thought they were judging me or lying to me. I even wore a black dress to my baby shower to hide my bump so that no one would comment or look at it – how silly is that?! It’s meant to be a day of celebrating the bump in all its glory!
Before I became a mother my anxiety was bad, I frequently had panic attacks and was on anti depressant/ anti anxiety medication for a very long time. I spent many years seeing a psychologist to help me over come my body issues and anxiety.
Before I became a Mum I NEVER would have told any one any of the above things about me – I was always worried about what others thought of me and I was so afraid of judgement.
So why am I telling you all of this? … I wanted to give a picture of the person I was before compared to the one I have become now and the one you probably know me as if you follow me & my blog. If you take one look at my Instagram and you will see that I am no longer worried about showing my body or worried what others think of it and my mission is to help other Mummies feel the same. I’m not saying everything is perfect when it comes to my self confidence and body issues but I am definitely in a far, far better place than I was before.
I may have stretch marks and rolls on my tummy, my boobs don’t sit like they used to but none of that matters to me in the way it used to – now I know that these small things do not make me any less of a person than somebody else and in the big picture it truly doesn’t matter. Millie is the most important person in the world to me and she couldn’t care less about the stretch marks on my belly or how much I weigh.
What matters now is that I am a positive role model to my daughter, some one she can look up to and some one who knows I’ve done everything in my power to keep her safe and make her happy.
I never want her to waste her life feeling the way I did so I have promised myself I will do everything I can to make sure she knows her worth is in no way based upon her appearance.
A quote I love to live by now is “Always be your self. People don’t have to like you and you don’t have to care”.
Thanks to motherhood I now know who I am and I am confident in the person I am. I no longer care what others think of me. If they don’t like me, that’s their problem – I have so much more important things to spend my energy & time on. Some how from the moment I held my little girl for the first time I felt a HUGE sense of pride in what I had achieved. She was perfect in my eyes and I couldn’t believe I had created her – all of sudden I felt like I had accomplished something to be proud of which I can see now has taken a lot of my anxieties away. I now know that a huge part of my anxiety issues came from me never truly knowing who I was, being happy with myself or feeling a sense of pride and achievement in my life.
So this is how motherhood changed me and I really hope that every Mummy & woman out there can some day feel a sense of self love too. It’s not an easy thing to change but is worth every battle in your head to achieve it!
Brittany xx ( @fashionable_fitmum)